fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
