ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
