Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
