Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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