somebody snuck up and got me drunk
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
