we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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