did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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