High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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