She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
