so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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