u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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