why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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