She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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