He asked to "fluff my boner.."
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize