LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
