I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
