I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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