Having a random hookup so left but love u
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
