Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
