So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
