): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize