I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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