Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
