tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
