I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Dear god my vagina.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
