I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
