i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
