i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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