He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
