Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize