Soap is not a condiment
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
