Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
