even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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