im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
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