then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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