i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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