If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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