I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
