I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
do nipples grow back?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
