Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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