Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
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