WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
