just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
