maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We left the knife in your bed.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Randomize
