Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
