I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
