would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize