It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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