And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
