I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
