Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
