i may or may not be watching the land before time
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
