So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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