I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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