my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
