sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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