Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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