Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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