He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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