Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize