Even the bartender felt bad for me
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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